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By EUNICE del ROSARIO
THE cries of abused women must never fall on deaf ears, says the founder of the world's first refuge for battered women.
For someone who was persecuted by her community leaders and called a
marriage wrecker for refusing to turn away battered women from her own
doorstep more than 30 years ago, Erin Pizzey said she knows and
appreciates the hard work that organisations such as the Bahrain Young
Ladies Association (BYLA) exert to protect families.
"I am honoured to be in Bahrain to take part in the opening of the
Aisha Yateem Family Counselling Centre, which is a very historic
moment," she said.
"All those who worked so hard must be appreciated because I truly
believe the family is the primary socialising agency in a child's life.
I also believe the family is the corner stone of any civilisation."
It was in Chiswick, London, UK, that Ms Pizzey opened the first refuge for battered women in the world in 1971.
"In those days, women were helpless, because unless they were able
to show proof of multiple violent attacks such as personal photographs,
they were told they did not have the right to leave their matrimonial
home.
"Even if she did leave and show evidence, she was still helpless because no one would be willing to take her in.
Ms Pizzey said that the first woman who asked for her help was Kathy.
"Kathy showed me her bruises, which were the result of her husband hitting her with the leg of a chair," she said.
"That night, I took her in (my home) and within a few months women
and children were lying on the floor at night. The conditions were
dreadful but for those families it was better than risking their lives
in the hands of the violent perpetrators.
"Most of these women were vulnerable and they suffered abuse and violence as children.
"I realised they need many months and in some cases years of
counselling and care to enable them to move back into the community."
The job of shelters is to offer sanctuary to reassure mothers and
their children that they are amongst kind and caring people," said Ms
Pizzey.
"I know the devastating effects of witnessing domestic violence can have on children," she said.
"Boys who are abused tend to explode with rage and become violent
themselves, while girls implode and tend to harm themselves, often
becoming victims."
Based on her experiences at Chiswick, Ms Pizzey wrote the pioneering
book on wife-battering, Scream Quietly or the Neighbours Will Hear, in
1974. That book was very successful in bringing the problem of battered
women to the world's attention.
Shelters for battered women began springing up all over the world in
the wake of her inspiring example. The world's attitude towards
shelters also changed for the better thanks to the perseverance of many
individuals and organisations like BYLA, said Ms Pizzey.
"Having founded the first refuge, I faced a great deal of
persecution from local leaders who called me a marriage wrecker," she
said.
"Authorities also tried to send me to jail for refusing to turn
mothers and their children away. But today, there are more growing
centres across the world. We need to create not only shelters for these
women but also business opportunities so that once they leave the
shelter, they have a way of providing for themselves.
"I am hopeful that the Aisha Yateem Family Counselling Centre is the forerunner in the region and may there be more to come."
Ms Pizzey is in Bahrain for the next week to run intense training workshops for staff at the centre.
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