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In 1971 Erin Pizzey founded Chiswick Women's Aid, the first refuge for battered wives. Her 1974 book "Scream Quietly or the Neighbors Will Hear" brought the issue to the attention of the public.

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Recent travels: California and Slovenia

Written by Erin Pizzey Monday, March 31, 2008 10:45 AM
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Conference in Sacramento, California. February 15-16th, 2008

For once arriving at the immigration desk in LA was not the usual miserable experience. The man on the desk actually smiled at me and wished a good stay. American immigration officials usually give Americans a bad name.

I was met by Michael Robinson the organiser of the conference. He outlined the situation in America and I caught him up with what was happening in England. I knew Murray Straus would be presenting with Don Dutton. I was very much looking forward to meeting them as we met many years before. I was also looking forward to putting names to faces. Meeting Edward Bartlett and Charles Corry, to name but a few, was a heart warming experience.

The conference was generally agreed to be one of the best anyone had ever attended. It was professionally beautifully organised with the added bonus that DVD’s will be sent to all the participants at the conference. The audience were warm and appreciative. For once there was no smell of fear and contention. Men and women had come together from all over the world to agree that domestic violence is not and never has been a gender issue. There was a great regret that so many fathers all over the world had been torn from their families, denied access to their children and were accused of monstrous behaviour to the people they most loved. Some were broken by the accusations and I could see some of the fathers in the audience suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. To believe that you live in a civilized country with laws designed to protect the innocent and then to find that you can be accused overnight with the most heinous sin, that of abusing your children or your partner, with no evidence, and that you are now guilty until you prove your innocence, is enough to send even the most balanced person over the edge of sanity.

Murray Straus made a brilliant presentation and so did Don Dutton. I am hoping that the DVD’s can be put on line so everyone can have access to this historic occasion. I came away full of hope and affection for the people I met. It gave me the courage to continue on here in England and, however lonely the fight at the present, one day, and I hope it is before I die because I am seventy now, I will see a time when all children who are born into violent and dysfunctional families will find care and understanding regardless of age, gender, race, sexuality, wealth or geography.

Conference in Slovenia. March 26-28th, 2008

I knew it would be hard when I was invited to Slovenia by the Ombudswoman in Lubianja. I left the house at 5.30 am to get to Gatwick airport, dreading the days ahead. Slovenia is ringed around by beautiful snow covered mountains but the effects of the years of communism and the poverty that it brought to so much of the Eastern bloc countries is evident. So is the entrenched, communist-inspired feminist ideology. This became apparent at the first lecture when the subject of ‘gender’ came up. There was almost no point in trying to change the minds of many of the fifty plus women. The brain washing was too deep and too entrenched. What will save Slovenia is the new generation of young women who came to the hotel to interview me. They had no trouble understanding that domestic violence was not a gender issue. I brought with me the Home Office Crime Figures which proved beyond doubt that both men and women can be guilty of violence and sexual abuse.

The fathers I met told the same terrible stories of false accusations I hear all over the world. Here it is made worse because the courts take years to hear cases some of them five or seven years to reach any conclusion. Meanwhile the children grow up without their fathers and the fathers are denied the most formative years of the lives of their children.

Tommo an intrepid film maker and defender of the weak in Nubia and Darfur was accused by his partner of molesting his little daughter. He was able to prove after years of being persecuted by the feminist lawyers and so called experts that he was not even in the country when this alleged event occurred. However the memory of this suffering has scarred him as it has so many others. The gentle father who escorted me and took care of me is also accused of violence towards his partner. When his then twelve year old son insisted on moving in with him he faced charges of kidnapping. He faces a court case in April and we need to pray for him and for his family.

I had a wonderful encounter with twenty or so social workers and I shared with them my experience of the therapeutic need to care for victims of domestic violence. They agreed that it was not a gender issue. Even though some of the older women in the room chuntered and mumbled, they were out-voted by their colleagues.

I left Slovenia in tears for the fathers and their children but I hope now that after my visit a dialogue can be started that will bring change and hope to the people.

Slovenia makes the best Chardonnay I have ever tasted and the maker is called ‘cockroach’! There is a silver lining to everything.

Copyright © 2008 Erin Pizzey, All Rights Reserved

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4 Responses to “Recent travels: California and Slovenia”

  1. Stan Rains Says:

    Thank you for your years of dedication. The numbers of those aware and active are growing. Unfortunately, most of us and our children have had to become victims of horrendous witch-hunts before stepping forward to be counted. 14 years ago, I was one such ‘innocent’ until my two year old child was molested and my then wife began protecting the molester and retaliating against me with false allegations. That is not 1/10 of 1% of what has transpired in the past 14 years. I have been gagged, jailed, demeaned, impoverished, suffered death threats (one from Judge Henry Schuble in Corpus Christi, Tx.) and insulted while I try to protect a daughter whom the last two psychologists have stated they believe she has continued to be abused within her current memory. During the original divorce 13 years ago, my ex was given custody the day after she stated her teenage nephew’s serial molestation of our two year old child and three others for whom he was convicted was “humorous” and “appropriate”. To help cover the continued exposure of my child to this and other public record pedophiles and abusers in my ex’s family, I have had to fight off 19 sex abuse allegations by my ex at unbelievable expense. Even when she admits these allegations were false and for either money, custody, or revenge, she faces no consequences and I am left paying the bills and trying to recover relationship with my child.

    I am 60 and very tired. But, I keep putting one foot in front of another. I have written considerable. (I am quoted by both Baskerville in his recent book and on Dr. Corry’s website as well as many others.) I have lobbied legislators (I was put in jail the day after I video recorded one group visiting with Texas legislators on these issues). Surprisingly that 2007 visit to the State Capital was the exact opposite of my first visits in the mid 90’s. In the 90’s I was rudely shown the door repeatedly on the issues of pro-woman gender bias affecting the safety of our children in divorce. This last time, the officials were asking us how to fix the issues that are overwhelming them as a result of old gender-biased policies. Change is happening but not in time for me or my 16 year old daughter. The give no medals for being wounded in this war, only jail time. I was once put in jail for paying child support ahead of the scheduled amounts.

    May God Bless you for all eternity. My faith, even without the support of any church has carried me through. That starts a whole new topic. All the churches I have attended or visited embraced feminist policies to varying degrees over Biblical teachings. When I visit with the pastors in private they will openly admit to this hypocracy but will rationalize it with they would become targets if they didn’t of both feminist organizations and members as well as our Internal Revenue Service lifting their tax-exempt status. Jesus told us to render unto Caesar and these pastors are afraid to do just that. Paul addressed perverted sexual and familial relationships quite clearly if the Old Testament had not been clear enough.

    I do not have a web page as such, but some of my writings can be found by copying and googling the following words: fathers children “stan rains”

    It is odd that I and many of my more active friends have begun to notice much of our work is disappearing off the web. But at least some of it is still there.

    Well, I did not mean to start blogging, I just wanted to tell you how much I admire the continued stand you have made and the great work you do.

    A friend and admirer.

    Stan Rains.

  2. Erin Pizzey Says:

    Thanks you Stan foryour support. As you say and I believe we are all tired. The level of persecution has been so huge. For me the fear always way that when I had to deal with women (and some men) I never knew if they shared the feminist radical idology or not. If it was a lawyer I knew she would destroy my client even if he was innocent because her beliefs were rabid and he was the enemy whatever the circumstances. If it was an editor of my book I faced the same dilemma. ‘I hate your books, I dont want to publish your books’ said a radical lesbian editor. I asked why if I respected her sexual preferances she couldn’t respect mine. It was a silly question. I’ve lost everything twice and had to start again. Ten years ago I was living in a homeless family hostel in Richmond outside London. But you climb back up again and I have a firm belief that I was born to take up this battle and ultimately truth wins.
    I had a very depressed few days coming back from Slovenia after meeting so many fathers who had their lives destroyed. The long years of communist/feminist ideology has damaged family life almost beyond repair. Any allegations made by women against men carry the full weight of all the femlae so called experts and it takes years for the cases to come to court. There are some good women who are seriously trying to make a difference and that is my hope. Anyway God bless you for all your efforts and I am glad to hear from you.

  3. Slavko Majkić Says:

    Hello Erin
    I am one of the father you met in Slovenia. I am very happy that you come to our country and that you realise that the situation for fathers and family are not good in Slovenia and we gona need a lot of help form a woman like you are. Thanks you for evrything and for our litlle conversation we have in a hotel when you are having a lunch. I am happy that you like our vine that was my chose and chocolate and I hope you like the book also. I must say that this days is a lot of talking about fathers beacuse its world family day 15.05. and we also me ,Roman and others are establish a nongoverment organisation its calls “Words for childrens, fatherhud and truth” and you are our motivation also. Thank you and I realy hope that I see you someday soon in the future.

    Best regards
    Slavko Majkić

  4. Stan Rains Says:

    Dear Erin,
    I checked back in on this web site to see what activity may have transpired. So much has happened that I had thought it had been a year since I had last posted here. The fact that it was only this past April is a shock.

    Have you managed to get anything of substance published since then?

    I see you touched lives in Slovenia. The letter from Mr. Slavko Majkic spoke volumes of your humanity.

    I maintain a modest list of domestic and international activists and organizations that are specific to our common activism, if you wish to pass on any general postings, I would love to assist.

    My email address is

    God Bless.

    Stan Rains

    God Bless

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Copyright © 2008 Erin Pizzey, All Rights Reserved